top of page
  • Writer's pictureAdrienne

Gotta go No. 2? Hysterics Ensue



Let me preface this post by saying; MY WAY IS NOT THE ONLY WAY OR THE BEST WAY. I simply tried to figure out what works best for our family, for each of my boys(because they surely do not respond the same to everything), for the Sarge, & for me.


When it comes to being a mama, it's my thing. It's my job. The only thing I've ever, for sure, wanted do in my life. It's what I do. And I feel like I've been doing pretty good so far. Everyone is alive and healthy and happy and we have our system that works great(FOR US).


You know the phases we go through with our kids that seem damn near impossible? The ones where we rip our hair out attempting to figure out WTF our kid needs to just DO WHAT WE WANT THEM TO? Sleep training, nursing, transitioning to food, taking bottles away, taking pacifiers away, moving out of the crib, etc.


So far, Roscoe is proving to be my stubborn child with most of the above activities, and I've had to vastly change my tactics from the ones I used with Jordy. The only one Roscoe has done swimmingly and seamlessly has been anything involving food(EXCEPT NURSING! See; Postpartum Realness). Otherwise, he straight up gives me the middle finger and has me losing my damn mind trying to get him to come to heel(Also see; Second Child Syndrome). It's taken over a year, but as he starts to understand words and my intentions more, he's coming to grips with the whole "mama is the boss" business. Sorta.


Jordy on the other hand has been a dream with basically everything. Nursed like a champ, got him sleep trained in 3 nights, wasn't a huge fan of food at first, but didn't give me a super hard time, willingly gave up bottles & no-nos(pacifiers), and politely asked to be put into a big boy bed(I give all credit to his temperament and personality ::insert shrugging emoji::).


Until now. Until I asked him to poop on the friggin' potty(we have no issues with the pee part of this). You'd think the toilet seat was made of acid and he burns his baby butt cheeks off every damn time he sits down on it. There's usually lots of crying, lots of holding it until he can't anymore, and a poop dance I thought was cute the first few times that now makes me tear up slightly at the first sight of it. By the time this charade is over, we usually have a skid mark, if not a full-on mess, and a kid who insists he doesn't know why he did it.


WHAT IS HAPPENING?! He is perfectly capable of understanding what is going on. As soon as he starts dancing around and holding his butt, off we go to the bathroom. Immediately, he starts freaking out and crying. I've tried talking calmly to him, I've tried sitting in there with him, I've tried yelling, I've tried leaving him alone in there, I've taken things away, I've offered rewards, I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. My mother-in-law even bought him a book called Everybody Poops to try and get him to understand that "It's cool man! Take your poop!"



But no, he has this huge hang-up about it. Until he finally does his business in the potty. Then he loses his mind with pride and excitement. So much so, you'd think he won the damn poop olympics after he realizes it was a piece of cake and no big deal. And every time that happens, I think, "Oh yay! Now he gets it!". No. Nope. NOT. AT. ALL. The next time he needs to go, we go through this improv scene of being tortured all over again and I am not handling it well.


SOMEONE HELP ME! I'm fresh out of ideas. It can sometimes last two days before I catch him at the right time and he does his thing!


And before anyone gets all huffy about, "OMG you let your kid hold in his poop for 2 days! Give him some Miralax! Give him an enema! Call your pediatrician!" just hold on. His belly is never hard and distended as he waits and he's for sure not shitting bricks(I will spare you the description of his BM. You're welcome). I've also chatted wit his pediatrician about it and she talked to Jordy. Which basically went in one ear and out the other, hahahaha. He claims to understand, he says he's not afraid, and when you ask him why he's upset or crying, he cannot answer you.


So I'm at a loss. Maybe it's a behavioral thing with the Sarge being gone & then Nana leaving after being here all summer. Or maybe this is just the one thing this kid is going to have a hard time with. I have no idea. But I'm doing my best to practice patience and not crack a beer whenever he starts the poop dance. If any of you have any ideas on what I can do to help make this process a little less stressful, HOOK A SISTER UP! Jordy and I would greatly appreciate it. Also, theres no easy way to take off underwear full of caca without getting it all over him. Really.


90 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page